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Your partner will never be able to match all your needs and interests. “We are all multifaceted, complex creatures. “This does not have to be an elaborate date or a vacation sometimes just going to bed a little early, turning off the television, and connecting can go a long way,” Hansen said.

Rather it is important for couples to share how the incident made them feel or how it affected them emotionally.” “When you argue with your partner, the facts do not matter. And this ultimately helps you connect emotionally, Hansen said. Vulnerability is sharing your feelings – not your thoughts. As Dubinsky said, none of us is a mind reader. The best way to get your needs met is to communicate them clearly. “Offering a solution is not always necessary.

Ask about your partner’s day, and actually listen.

“Whether it is gardening, deep sea diving, or taking French cooking lessons, all couples should have some activities that they enjoy doing with each other,” Rastogi said. But if you share the same core belief systems, you will have a platform from which to build a strong relationship,” Rastogi said. “Your interests, opinions and experiences can change as you grow. ““We don’t have to agree, but we must work to understand.” Consider your partner’s point of view, and how they might interpret yours, she said.

“Resist the urge to bring up prior events that may help you prove your point.” Staying on track prevents an argument from escalating. This includes not hitting below the belt, listening to your partner and speaking clearly and directly, she said. When a compromise doesn’t seem possible, the key is to manage conflict and fight fair. But it’s how they deal with conflict that counts. In her clinical work and research on happy couples, Dubinsky has found that all couples have conflict. The experts suggested these tips for making love last. Partners feel safe being themselves and being vulnerable with each other. “Healthy adult love exists when both partners are emotionally interdependent meaning that both partners love one another, care for one another, desire physical closeness with one another, but respect each other enough to have their own identities as well,” said Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples, premarital and newlywed counseling. Psychologist Erich Fromm inspired Dubinsky’s definition of true love: “an act of will and judgment, intention and promise.” Sharp also focused on commitment, and added that true love involves choices and behaviors shared by partners. Love also means being empathic, meeting each other’s needs and supporting your partner when they need you, she said. “For some people it may mean saying, ‘I love you.’ For other people it may involve changing the oil in the car.” She described love as a process that includes how you love your partner and how your partner wants to be loved.